First Class or Coach

The other day, I was scheduled to fly from New York to Dallas. A snowstorm caused many travel headaches and my flight was canceled. I was quickly booked on a different flight from a different airport. When I checked in for the new flight, I was given the option to upgrade to first class.

Now just so you know, I fly coach just about everywhere. In fact, even when I fly over to Rwanda, Africa a few times a year, I fly coach. Many people do not like coach. They find it cramped and uncomfortable. For me, I never seemed to mind. For some reason, my 6’2” body seems to fit snug and tight in the coach seats and with little room to move, I find myself falling asleep quickly. Coach is good for me.

But on this day, the option to fly first class for a small nominal fee appealed to me. I gave them my credit card and they assigned me seat 5F, first class.

This certainly was not the first time in the front of the plane for me. I have often been blessed by the generosity of others, such as my in-laws, who have treated my family and me to business class seats on our trips to Europe. I have always enjoyed it and appreciated the luxury. But today seemed different.

On a normal day, I walk through the first class cabin on my way to the back of the plane, where the majority of people travel, in coach. I must admit, there are many times that I look at the people seated in the big comfortable seats of first class and wonder who they are. I wonder what they do and how successful they must be to be flying first class. How have they reached this first class status?

Part of me expects them to be more sophisticated, more established, more intelligent, or maybe just plain more than those of us in coach.

On this day, instead of passing through the first class cabin, I stopped in the middle of it. I placed my one carry-on above row 5 and prepared to get into my first class oversized chair, seat 5F. There was a man already sitting in 5E, the aisle seat, so I politely asked him if he would allow me to get to my seat. Without a word, a look or a facial expression, he stood up. In his silence, both in his lack of words and in his body language, I could tell that I disturbed his world. The grimace on his face said to me, “how dare you disturb me and my kingdom”.

I quickly and quietly sat down in my seat. Now, I usually like to at least say hello to the person I am sitting next to. I understand that most people may not want to carry on a conversation, but an acknowledgement of them as a person with a simple hello usually seems right. I attempted on several occasions to find a moment to say hello to my neighbor in 5E. He was steadfast in his convictions. Every fiber in his being said, “stay away”.

He pulled out his work before we even began to move. Spreadsheets, numbers, calculating success. I saw some of the notes he scribbled in the margins, production up 3%, very good. Down 2.45, needs work.

He placed a document that he was reading in between the two of us. In first class, there is plenty of room between seats. Yet, the traveler in 5E was very quick to claim all of the space as his. As he reached under his seat to pull out another work item, the document he placed between us started to fall. I reached out and put my hand on it so it would not hit the ground. As his head came up and he saw the paper in my hand, he abruptly grabbed the document and pulled it away. His actions told me, I do not need your help and keep your bloody hands off my papers. Not a thank you, not a smile or an acknowledgement, just a very clear message, you are in my space and you need to get out.

I shifted in my seat and moved a little closer to the window. As we began to taxi to the runway after a 20-minute de-icing project, the passenger in 6F, right behind me, dials a number on his cell phone and starts a conversation loud enough for all of first class to hear. In his controlling and demanding voice, he begins to rattle off facts about the deal he must be doing and giving instructions to the person on the other end of the call. His voice is far from discrete. In fact, he seems to raise the volume of the conversation as he describes the success he is having.

Now, as I am sure you all know, we are all expected to turn our cell phones off and put our electronics away as the plane taxis to the runway. Some people try to stretch the end of a call for an extra 30 seconds as the plane begins to move. But my fellow passenger in 6F felt it was his right to disregard all other authority and begin a call long after the cell phones were to be turned off. This was his world, and nobody could tell him what to do. In fact, he wanted to be certain that everyone in first class knew that he was the master of his universe as he barked out instructions and gloated over his successes.

Now the right thing to do might have been for the traveler in seat 6E to gently tap the man’s leg and ask him to end the conversation and please put away the cell phone. But this was first class; the right thing to do seemed to never get done. Suddenly, the man sitting in front of me, seat 4F, turns around and begins to scream at our cell phone user in 6F. “Get off the phone you idiot!”

It seemed that everyone in first class heard him except of course the one who needed to, passenger 6F. He just continued his conversation. In fact, it appeared that he might have started to speak a little louder. He needed to be certain that everyone was aware of how important he was, especially our angry traveler in seat 4F.

Well, 4F was now in battle mode. Another loud demand and another comment about the man’s intelligence is launched over my head, targeted for seat 6F. To my surprise, my neighbor in 5E, who would not even acknowledge me with a hello, chimed in and added to the anger by making certain that passenger 6F knew that he was a fool. The animals were working hard to establish their territory and no one was backing down.

The incident ended before any physical contact was made, but the theme was well established; this is my kingdom and you cannot mess with it. Everyone was angry, no one was talking, everyone was in their own kingdom playing king for another day.

I was now just about out the window, trying to stay out of the fray. I thought, this is first class; this is the front of the plane?
Now just a week earlier, our 44th president was inaugurated in DC. I was fortunate enough to be there the night before and the morning of the big event. Nearly 2 million people of every race and creed came together in crowded streets and packed the national mall. It seemed like the masses were more civilized than first class.

But as I pressed myself against the window of seat 5F, my mind wandered to Rosa Parks. Oh, please do not jump ahead. My seating in first class is not even in the same universe of the heroic act of Rosa Parks. She changed the world, I just changed my seat size. But as I thought about Rosa Parks and her bold move to the front of the bus, I wondered what she thought about the people she encountered. In a much more extreme way than I experienced, the folks in the front of the bus were arrogant, obnoxious, opinionated, intolerant, quick to anger, quick to judge, filled with a superiority complex, looking for a person to belittle, focused on their own kingdom and maintaining the isolation of that kingdom. They were bigoted, violent, self-righteous and miserable human beings. They had no room for others and had no desire to serve and love others well. They were there for their own success and a life of significance was not even on the radar screen.

I wondered if for just a moment, Rosa Parks had a similar thought that I had; I moved up front to be with these people? I sure did like the folks in the back of the bus better.

Now, for Rosa Parks and the entire black community during the time of segregation in our country, there were so many wrongs being perpetrated against her and her people that someone needed to take a stand, even if it meant enduring the horrible people in the front of the bus. The selfishness that I witnessed on my flight would not even cause a blip on the screen compared to the people dead set against integration and equal rights. But my mind started to wonder.
The world was changed by Rosa Parks. She moved to the front of the bus where she encountered hatred, anger and bigotry head on. For the next several decades, leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King gave their lives to enable African Americans to sit in the front of the bus and have their proper place in society.

Thank goodness that we witnessed the achievement of that dream on January 20th, 2009, as Barack Obama took the oath of office.

But, what if history was a little bit different and instead of Rosa Parks having to fight her way to the front of the bus, those of us who were sitting in the front stood up and moved to the back of the bus to join Rosa Parks and her friends. What if the front of the bus knew that life was about significance and the service of others. What if all of us in the front of the bus knew that if we were really going to have a meaningful life, the place to find meaning was in the back of the bus.

I think when we got to the back of the bus, we would not have encountered the hatred, anger and self-righteousness that Rosa Parks endured by sitting in the front of the bus. We would have found community, fellowship, humility, service and love. We would know that there should be no front of the bus or back of the bus, there should be no first class or coach. When we are ready to leave our seat in the front to love, live, serve and befriend those in the back, the word will change without decades of strife, fighting and death.

I have no issue with people flying first class on an airplane. And I also know that there are plenty of wonderful, gracious and significant people who fly in business class, first class or in private jets. In no way is my musing about my latest flight a condemnation of first class or successful people in general. The truth is, first class is more comfortable and it is a luxury that is very nice. In fact, if I have the opportunity, I will do it again. But when it comes to traveling the road to significance, there can be no first class; there is only coach.

We all ride in the back of the bus together.

A Principled Life vs. A Practical Life

As the new year begins, and what appears to be a new economic reality continues to maintain its grip on the country and the world, I am beginning to hear from many people about the ways they are changing their lives to be more practical. Now that their portfolios are down by as much as 40% and some may have even lost their job, what once seemed normal, has become very impractical.

For example, many of us fell into a habit of going out to expensive dinners and paying for too much for a meal. Or maybe we had grown accustomed to spoiling our children with too many gifts and extravagant presents at Christmas. For others, it may be a shopping habit that just never seems to stop needing its fix. Or, in my case, it was that one or two big purchases a year that pumped up my ego and made me feel successful.

Now, all of that starts to feel wrong. But why?

This past week, I was in a discussion about how the times have changed. Many of the participants said that the change that was taking place around us represented a return to values and a return to practical living. I could not help myself when I spoke up. Has anything really changed or are we living the exact same life just with a different economic floor. In other words, has anything changed in our hearts and our minds about what is right or wrong, what is good or bad, what is success or significance. As I look around, I do not see any real change, I just see people with less money acting the exact same, only with a new set of financial constraints limiting their behavior, at least for the time being. Worse than that, the behavior they are limiting may actually be the most significant things they do in their lives.

I will give you an example. I have a friend who, at one time, was probably worth close to $100mm. This recent down turn in the stock market and the eroding of real estate market along with a pretty spectacular life style has reduced that number dramatically. Still, the remaining $40mm, more or less, is an astronomical amount of money. But the way he perceives the impact on his life has been shocking. He has decided that he needs to be more practical. As long as he does not spend extravagantly or give his money away, he is "comfortable" that he will be able to maintain his current lifestyle for the next 20 years, even if he makes no money on his portfolio. Not bad, a practical life for $2.0mm per year. But what has actually changed? The only thing that I know that has changed is his generosity. He plans to give less money away and feels as if he needs to hoard his wealth in these “hard” economic times. Is this what should be resulting from practical living?

Obviously, this example is extreme. Many of us, like myself, have far bigger concerns about paying our bills than does my wealthy friend. But as my friends and I continued our discussion, a man of great wisdom said this, “It is the difference between a practical life and a principled life.”

Those words have played over in my mind time and time again. You see, the road to success is all about practical living. Determine your life and your lifestyle by the financial success you achieve. Practical living is dependent on economics.

But what about a principled life; a life that is not controlled by your portfolio, or your income, or your financial empire, but rather a life that is grounded in the principles of significance.

The road to significance can only be traveled by those of us willing to build our foundations on principles, not just practicality. Don’t get me wrong, it is important that we all be pragmatic as we serve others well. But solid principles, such as humility, sacrifice, service, grace, simplicity, love, joy, peace and a desire to give more than you receive allows everyone to maintain a steady course, even in these turbulent economic times.

I have been traveling this road of significance for just over 13 years, and I have to admit that it is a lot easier to forget about my principles and replace them with practical living, especially when times get tough. But if this world is ever going to change, and the road to significance is ever going to become the main thoroughfare, I need to brand my principles onto my heart and soul and begin to live not by practicality, but rather by the principles of significance.